A Few of My Favorite Things

What do all of your favorite things say about you? It’s a great exercise in self reflection and hopefully, gratefulness.

Here’s a list of my favorite things:

• A sparkly, patterned, deep red scarf
• An off white sweater with a single psychedelic blue/green bird front and center
• Plain black booties with a single, thick chain running front side, ankle – ankle
• A black “heartless” hat, two black antenna that dangle up and off to the side
• A beautiful dance
• A soul-deep conversation, about anything real and heart felt

The beautiful scarf is one of my favorite colors and a gift from my best friend. When I lived with her for a brief period of time before moving into the place I’ve been since, it was fall, the cusp of winter. Coats, jackets, gloves, and scarves come out, but most of my stuff what is boxes. She had these glorious scarves and whenever she happened to be home, I’d run and grab the one she took off and wrap it around myself in a mix of amusing, hilarious, and sometimes serious ways. I always gave them back, but she knew how much I loved her scarves. One day about a month or two ago, she told me to sit tight, that she had a surprise for me. Sure enough, she came to visit and brought me the exact same scarf as her green one– just in red! Apparently they don’t make the specific type of scarves she had anymore so she scoured thrift stores on and off again ever since keeping an eye out for another for me. AND IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLORS! ❤ I get so many compliments on the scarf and I take great joy in telling people my best friend gave it to me. It makes me so happy to wear it.

The sweater was a random gift my best friend brought me one day. We randomly give each other things. Instead of placing emphasis on holidays and other events, we find cool stuff and give it to each other through the course of the year. It sits on me so well, and it’s so warm, not to mention classy.

The booties. *happy sigh. Ah, do they appeal to me! They’re simple shoes, match with pretty much everything I wear, good for all kinds of weather, PLUS they have a chain. The chain for me represents the little differences that makes me, you, and your mother unique. When I wear them, I feel like the chain speaks for all the little things that makes us unique, as human individuals. Simple, small, eloquent.

Have you ever heard of Kingdom Hearts? If not, go look it up! It’s a classic video game. My sister and I beat all the games together. Two holidays ago, she got us matching hats. I look ridiculous and silly in the hat, and love it all the more for that! It reminds me of something my very different sister and I have in common, and it’s fun to play with. It’s also an excellent conversation starter, if you can get past the weird looks people send your way. I can, it’s a great way to make people laugh, including myself.

DANCING. ❤ Oh, my heart! I’m a social dancer- that is, I partner dance with others. Blues, swing, tango, a variety of others. Dancing is being strictly present in a moment in time, communicating with another human you may or may not have previously known WITHOUT WORDS. Sometimes, a good dances makes me feel like time is both slower and faster than it really is, in the most glorious way possible.

I don’t feel the need to explain the last item of my list. Most everyone wants good, meaningful conversation!

My list is of things I’m both grateful for and of things I love. It gives me a good way to reflect on where I am in life by looking at some of the things, tangible and otherwise, that matter to me.

Happy Thursday!

Connection – Girls from around the World

NPR recently publically reached out to girls and women from around the world. Talk about a variety of perspective, cultural, and life experiences!

The one that touched me most deeply was Yalinesm – she fought for something that kills many peoples’ souls, rose above it, and used it to inspire and encourage her to do more and be more. She didn’t let other people define who she was, and she’s used her admittedly brutal past to look out for herself and others. She’s made the world a better place speaking up for the people she cares about.

The challenges and obstacles women and girls have previously (and continue) to face around the world at age 15!

Check out a smattering of these stories from around the world:

http://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2015/11/04/452891494/you-told-us-the-hardest-things-about-being-15-15girls

Let’s keep in mind as we go through our daily lives to look out for each other! ❤

Expanding “Normal” Horizons

Autism. Extreme reactions at the end of the spectrum come to mind. Geniuses and social awkwardness. But that is NOT what defines autism.

Give yourself and Rosie King about 6 minutes to blow your mind about ‘Normal’ and how labels can hinder, and how when you take a few steps back and define things yourself, you can go so far.

One More Stereotype Down!

“If Asian Women Hit On White Guys The Way White Guys Hit on Asian Women”

Yes, there are stereotypes.
Yes, there are kernels of truth in some.
Yes, there are people who embody such.
However, there are many more people who don’t!
Avoid stereotypical places, like bars, and go somewhere else! Go dance! Go hike! Join a book club! Join a common interest club!

The art of in person conversation isn’t a lost art, despite the phone and social media emphasis. People try to learn about each other.

Stop focusing on the stereotypes!
Start focusing on the people who care, ask questions, and think outside of the box. Or don’t, it’s your life. 😉

~Outside of the Box Woman, out!

SQUIRREL!

Today, everyone has ADHD! AHH! SQUIRREL! SHINY!

We medicate it, suppress it, and generally get on people’s case that have it. Sometimes with good reason, sometimes simply because parents are annoyed that their children have an inability to sit still.

Biologically speaking though, there was an evolutionary advantage for ages to having the ability to respond quickly to many different stimuli. If you are a traveler in a new area with stranger creatures and surroundings, the ability to react would have made the difference between life and death.

Since it’s an evolutionary trait, is it even a disease, as we have a tendency in the U.S. to treat it as?

This article considers that it’s more of a cultural and societal issue, in that people with ADHD, especially children- who don’t get to pick their environment- get bored easily. In a society where we make kids sit down and concentrate for hours it makes perfect sense that kids, who naturally have a lot of energy, would have difficulty sitting for so long in the first place.

Take a look at the article for the science of dopamine, reward system, and the biological differences in those with it versus without it. It also goes through whether it is an issue of maladaptive for current society or if it is a disease. This article is well written, as well as accessible to those without a scientific background! I love it!

If you are interested in more differences in ADHD, search online for how French people deal with ADHD. Their rates of diagnosis are surprisingly lower, and it’s all in the way they go about ‘treating’ kids, behaviorally rather than medication!

How Would You Relate to the World Minus Eyesight?

Before I begin sculpting my roving thoughts, dear readers, allow me to explain I sometimes write bits based on what life would be like in someone else’s shoes. Allow yourself to be captivated by different perceptions!

This bit is about how sound affects us, blindness, questions about how perception would exist, imagining how sensory and hearing would be the basis for relating to the world, and how my thoughts lead up to it.

This morning I was strolling along a busy street. As a UPS truck rumbled by, it sparked a memory of a TED talk about how noise affects human beings. Human beings are remarkably physiologically sensitive to noise. Even if your emotions don’t change, your blood pressure goes up and a handful of other bodily happenings change when noise levels jump. Knowing this, I wondered if it was possible to keep those physiological changes from occurring or if it would be defeating nature’s purpose of giving us more excellent reaction times.

Visuals allow us to see the origin of loud noises, allow our brains to decide whether they are harmful or not, and let us relate our perspective to the world based upon that visual-auditory connection.

Without visual ability, how would you relate to the world?

If you were blind…

Imagine walking down a busy street in a town. Unable to see, you rely on your hearing and your white-tipped cane. You sweep your white-tipped cane to and fro in front of you until it comes in contact with something. A ridge in the sidewalk? What does the sidewalk look like? How do you relate what sidewalk is in your head? As a particular substance you walk on?
How would it feel to rely on your hands to feel a substance and decide whether it was a door, a pickle, or a car? How would you categorize objects based on the feel feedback?

Feel free to jump in, and reblog and/or comment on what it might be like or how it is.

The LOOK

One of my friends is a tall 1st generation woman of Caribbean decent. She is sassy, smart, respectful, and works hard. But people give her THE LOOK.

Yes, THE LOOK! Who wants to see it? No one wants to see it directed at them! I’d rather not see it from anyone, at all! You know the one, the up-down ‘I don’t like you, even though I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you’. The casual one people throw at people.

My friend was visiting me today, and we were unloading her car because we’d gone shopping together. An older woman was walking by. She gave her THE LOOK. She turned from her rude up-down look, and smiled at me, “Hello.”

Excuse me, you?! I actually had to pause, and ask my friend if I’d really seen, what I just saw. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I stood there stunned. She calmly agreed that I’d seen what I’d seen. At this point, the lady was half way down the street, and I say lucky for both her and I. I have things to point out when people are rude, let alone to my family and friends. And in my own neighborhood?!

Then I stopped.
I thought about it.

My friend’s skin is black, and my skin is white. I know there really people who act so drastically different because of it, but this was a startling look into people’s biased hatreds. Here we were in the light of day, in a diverse, well-off, safe area, and she was receiving THE LOOK. As affronted as I felt on her behalf both in the moment and following- she was calm. She has this happen to her all the time. That bothers me, and it probably bothers you too!

I was raised in a family that values people regardless of ethnicity, color of their skin, accent, sexual orientation, and etc. I was raised that people are people. People should be considered based on their actions and words, NOT on the color of their skin. People should be respected. But the LOOK is really just one piece of the problem that is racism. So how can we contribute to a societal fix of such an encompassing problem?

Education, time, and showing people through example that people are equal. These are brief versions of social fixes, but to truly fix such issues would take an effort from many societal fronts.

There’s no easy solution, but I’m SUPREMELY INTERESTED in hearing suggestions and/or solutions to this. Or instances in which you’ve encountered the LOOK. Please, be thoughtful and respectful, and share what you have to say on issues like this!

Devour Good Food!

The most important people in my life know how to have a good time- especially with food!

When my best friend graduated recently, I took her to a tapas restaurant in D.C. A blast was had! The setting was a meeting of professional and date-night flow. There were candles, ambient lighting, and music. We were louder between the two of us than any of the other groups, laughed more, and probably ate more than any other group, even though it was only the two us. We also danced more in our seats than any other adult patrons, which wasn’t hard considering we were the only ones doing so.

We both felt light and happy afterwards. Cares fell away while we were enjoying ourselves. We might have had to roll ourselves back to the metro, but by GOLLY it was worth it!

Life is so much more enjoyable spending time with the positive people who make you laugh and appreciate life. So make sure to surround yourself with people who make you happy, who can share in your triumphs, heart-aches, and help you come up with kick ass ideas!